22/8/2021 0 Comments My experience with Gaslighting.Gaslighting. A word I though millennials had just made up, a word I used to pretend I knew What it meant if it came up in conversation, a word I never thought would effect me, and then it did. Being gaslight left me unable to sleep at night, it left me with racing thoughts and raging anxiety. It’s only very recently I have realised what I’ve been a victim of, and what a horrible thing it is. So it’s time again to use my voice, to raise awareness and help those who are going through it too. Because those who need to create their own power, by manipulating others, are actually the least powerful of them all.
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I love summer. The sunshine just makes me so happy, it makes me feel alive again. But one thing I struggle with majorly is the change in weather, means less clothing, more scrutinising and the whole concept of being “beach body ready.” Some days the thought of wearing a dress and people seeing my legs gives me physical anxiety, but one year, I was on a plane to Corfu, flicking through an issue of vogue, and I came across this poem that I wanted to share. This poem helped me get through that holiday and it’s something I look back on every year when summer comes around. 🤍
Hello. I am the beach. I am created by waves and currents. I am made of eroded rocks. I exist next to the sea. I have been around for millions of years. I was around at the dawn of life itself. And I have to tell you something. I don’t care about your body. I am a beach. I literally don’t give a fuck. I am entirely indifferent to your body mass index. I am not impressed that your abdominal muscles are visible to the naked eye. I am oblivious. You are one of 200,000 generations of human beings. I have seen them all. I will see all the generations that come after you, too. It won’t be as many. I’m sorry. I hear the whispers the sea tells me. (The sea hates you. The Poisoners. That’s what it calls you. A bit melodramatic, I know. But that’s the sea for you. All drama.) And I have to tell you something else. Even the other people on the beach don’t care about your body. They don’t. They are staring at the sea, or they are obsessed with their own appearance. And if they are thinking about you, why do you care? Why do you humans worry so much about a stranger’s opinion? Why don’t you do what I do? Let it wash all over you. Allow yourself just to be as you are. Just be. Just beach. ~Matt Haig Isn’t it beautiful and a perfect reminder of what truly matters 🤍 I know summer can be hard, but let’s enjoy it whilst it lasts, crop tops and all 🤍 Zoe x Welcome to Life in Zoe’s eyes. 🤍 A place I hope to be able to raise awareness, give hope, and inspire change. 🤍 mental health is something that’s always been of importance to me, after struggling from my early teens with various things. Although I’m not quite ready to share them yet, I have learnt that sadly mental health is so misunderstood, even today. The time I was told by someone I was ‘miserable’ when they knew what I was going through is something that will never leave me. The time my school teacher commented on my weight when I was days away from being admitted to hospital, is forever in my head. The times the topic of conversation have constantly been weight loss, in a room full of people who know my struggles, the times where a ‘bad mood’ has been shamed upon by those who are lucky enough not to have to fight demons every day, the times mental health has been deemed as a cry for attention, the times the doctors told me to ‘go on a walk’ to cure my crippling anxiety and the waiting lists for help are months and months long. What about the time for change. And although I can’t change the world, I hope to be able to help others who are struggling, and share things that I think could help, help this world be a little more understanding of something that some of us have to fight 24/7 all whilst putting on a brave face. And if that’s you, know that I’m cheering you on, know that I understand the pain and the loneliness, but know that you’re not alone. Because I am so proud of you and all that you do, you’re not alone in this fight and your bravery does not go unnoticed. With love, Zoë 🤍
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